i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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