Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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