i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
someone owes me an orgasm
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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