i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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