yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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