I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
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Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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