the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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