He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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