I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize