Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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