Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn star boner night. come get it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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