that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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