He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
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I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
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ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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