I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize