She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize