the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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