Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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