We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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