Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize