I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
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I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
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I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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