the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize