Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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