your room smells of hookers.
And success
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
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theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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