im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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