i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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