He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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