He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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