help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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