This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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