I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize