It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
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I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This toilet bowl is my home.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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