Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize