I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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