and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
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He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
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My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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