In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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