Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize