He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
sarcasm needs its own font
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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