My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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