I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize