I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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