you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
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So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
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I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Who died my cat blue again?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize