It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize