I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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