is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We just shotgunned beers for America
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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