I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
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We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
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After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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