God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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