But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize