I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
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Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
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Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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