We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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