Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize